


Hold Every Memory as You Go

by Cumberbatch Critter (ivelostmyspectacles)



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Game Spoilers, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Post-Game(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 18:21:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12687699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivelostmyspectacles/pseuds/Cumberbatch%20Critter
Summary: His eyes are open and the darkness is still there. Maybe they are, too.





	Hold Every Memory as You Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Masozii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masozii/gifts).



He has learned to prefer the darkness.

He was never granted much of a choice, lost eyesight and all, but now that he can feel the sunlight warm his skin and know the consequences of regaining it, he thinks he would rather have the darkness.

He had learned to embrace it. He had learned to love it.

Sometimes, his mind revisits the nights where Ravus and Noctis would have their way with him– the nights they would bind his wrists oh so carefully and remove his glasses and tie a blindfold around his eyes. He can remember the lack of sensation that followed, when Ravus and Noctis would let him sit and wait, and he would, dutifully, as either or both of them brought themselves to orgasm just out of touch and just out of sight. He can remember the feeling of sweat trickling down the small of his back and the brush of air or the faintest pass of a hand against his naked skin.

He can remember the rush of emotion when they finally took his face in their hands and kissed him so lovingly. He can remember every detail in perfect clarity, even though the blindfold had never come off, those nights.

Those nights were darkness behind his eyelids, and those nights were _good_.

He revisits those nights in his sleep, some days, after feeling the press of sunshine against his face all day. He closes his eyes and there is silk on his cheekbones and hands on his shoulders or knees or face, there is Noctis whispering how much he loves him and Ravus saying nothing at all but guiding his hands over his body in ways that words cannot reach, and Ignis wakes up, startled, with a gasp, and the sheets are wet and sticky between his thighs and he pants into the darkness and can imagine that the blindfold is still there, and that nothing has changed.

He could open his eyes, and Ravus and Noctis would be there.

But that is foolish. Things have changed. The touches he feels in the dark are phantom, and the things he thinks he hears are in his memories. It’s just a dream. It was just a dream.

(Those kinds of dreams, he hasn’t had them in _years_. His early twenties, perhaps, and it feels like a lifetime ago. He has dreamt of Ravus and Noctis in the in between, but not like this, never like this, where his memory and the darkness brings him to completion in his sleep. He curses his mind, and his body, and his memory–)

– and reminisces until his head is pounding and his eyes are stinging and his cock is aching again, and he can hear Noctis’s stifled laughter against his skin and Ravus’s dry sarcasm about his _enthusiasm_ , and he imagines his hands are either of theirs, both of theirs, running across his body and between his legs, and he realizes with a start that there are tears streaming down his face when he brings himself over the edge, by his own hand.

His eyes are open and the darkness is still there. Maybe they are, too.

He dreams of their deaths, and he wakes up to sunlight streaming in on his face. He wonders if he’ll ever be used to it.

**Author's Note:**

> thx Maso for giving me 1000x smutty sad ideas
> 
>  
> 
> title from See You Again


End file.
